My Why
Dear Sacred Womban,
Thank you for being here. I am grateful for everything that has led to this moment. I have so many things to share with you, and in the end all I can share is who I am. All of me. For this life is only you and only me, and everything between us. Love is the main driving force and in its purest form, love is but truth. And there are as many truths as there are people, and that’s the beauty of this contradictory, senseless, meaning-less creation. The anomaly of living life with a deep sense of knowing that you can never actually prove is what ties us to one another and also drives us apart, as we try to make sense of it, and wreak havoc on another in the meantime. I finally understand what Buddha meant by saying that he could never know the ultimate truth about life, but that he does know how to live an aware life and minimise suffering. I remember hearing that in my introductory world religion class in college. I was merely 16, trying to understand how I had a chance of understanding the universe, if not even Buddha did. What chance did I have?
And suffer I did, as many of us do. This, they say, is inevitable. I often wondered why I had chosen a difficult path, or blamed my karma and wondered if I had done terrible things in another life. Maybe I just wanted the lessons, or who the hell knows. Throw it to the wind. Yet still, my life’s suffering and my incapability to not feel the overwhelming sense of sadness and aloneness drove me to understanding anything about me, life and how the hell I can alleviate the heaviness in my heart. I wanted to unzip life and pierce the heart of reality, get a peak at God’s masterplan. And maybe we will never know. Maybe we know and the whole point is to come here and pretend not to know, as the great Mother Goddess pulls the wool over our eyes so that we may live out the masterpiece of life.
Again, I know not. But I do know what has nourished me. I know what has brought me relief. I know what has lit me up and made me come alive. I know what has cultivated the right environment within me. A good farmer is still enough to observe with a deep sense of listening. And the listening leads to guidance. I have turned my manure into a beautiful garden that I enjoy on a daily basis. I start my day with a feeling of peace and serenity that outweighs and outlasts the moments of agony that I was so familiar with in my younger days. Sacred Womban practices are my life’s journey. They are the practices that I have discovered, or rediscovered as they seem to have accompanied me for as long as I have existed. And I want to share them with you. I want other womben to feel home again. If for any reason, you ache, you burn, you agonise about your childhood conditionings, or wiring about who you are or how you deserve to be loved; I want to help you, serve the Goddess, serve life.
I recall that moment as a teenager when I realized that by helping women, I would in turn help everyone, that the major illness of the world was deeply tied to our relationship to the feminine. How can we expect balance if we are repressing half the population? In essence that also means that we are not benefitting from the contributions of half the population because we are not really hearing them, or their wisdoms. I was so adamant that my life’s mission entailed serving the rise and healing of womben and the feminine aspect in life. I also respect the many different roads to wellness, or discovery of life. I am not interested in being the answer, or saying that wellness only looks one way. I write songs in the same way. My melodies and lyrics may not sing truth to everyone, but I must sing my song and those who recognise that melody within will tap their foot.
So, I hope to be of some use to you, womban, for I love you. I love you and I wish for you to flourish in your own garden. That your heart may be the main rose that shares its sweetness with you first, and you enjoy it fully. That your breasts rise and fall in effortless expansion, that your womb holds you and carries you through life in the all encompassing embrace of Her, that your voice is crystal clear and supported from your base. I hope so, not only for you but for everyone and for this planet.
Love, Reine Kabban
